Fundraisers Are Reluctant to Ask: The 1 Surprising Myth That’s Holding Nonprofits Back

The idea that fundraisers are reluctant to ask has persisted in the nonprofit world for too long. It’s an easy scapegoat for organizations struggling to meet financial goals: “If only our fundraisers weren’t so hesitant, we’d raise more money.” But this excuse does more harm than good. The truth is far more complex—and far less about individual reluctance than it is about systemic barriers within organizations.
Let’s dissect why the idea that fundraisers are reluctant to ask is a myth, explore the real reasons fundraisers may hesitate, and lay out actionable steps to create an environment where fundraisers thrive.
“The fear of asking is not rooted in the act itself; it’s rooted in the stories we’ve built around the act of asking.”
Where does this misconception come from? It’s often tied to the assumption that asking for money is inherently awkward or uncomfortable. Some people believe fundraisers struggle with fear of rejection or lack the confidence to approach donors. This narrative shifts the blame to the fundraiser, ignoring the structural and cultural issues that truly inhibit their success.
The reality? Fundraisers are passionate about the missions they serve. They’re not shy about advocating for a cause they believe in. The problem isn’t reluctance—it’s the lack of tools, clarity, and organizational support that often leave fundraisers feeling unprepared or unsupported when it’s time to ask.
What’s Really Happening?
Let’s get real about what’s holding fundraisers back. The myth that fundraisers are reluctant to ask obscures the following issues:
- Unclear Priorities
Many organizations fail to provide fundraisers with a cohesive message or clear priorities. Without alignment on the impact donors are supporting, fundraisers feel less equipped to have confident, inspiring conversations. - Lack of Training
Fundraising is a skill, and like any skill, it requires training. Too often, organizations expect fundraisers to excel without giving them the tools to succeed, from storytelling workshops to donor psychology insights. - Conflicting Expectations
When leadership sends mixed signals—prioritizing immediate revenue over relationship-building, for example—it creates tension. Fundraisers are left torn between short-term goals and long-term strategies, leading to hesitation in their approach. - Fear of Overasking
This fear isn’t about the fundraiser but the donor relationship. Fundraisers often worry about alienating donors by asking too frequently or for too much, especially if their organization hasn’t invested in cultivating meaningful connections.
The Emotional Reality for Fundraisers
Let’s address the elephant in the room: asking for money is emotional work. It requires vulnerability, empathy, and courage. The myth that fundraisers are reluctant to ask undermines the emotional intelligence and dedication fundraisers bring to their roles. Imagine advocating passionately for a mission while facing vague directions, outdated donor data, or lackluster leadership support. It’s not reluctance; it’s frustration.
Case in point: a small nonprofit that relied heavily on event-based fundraising saw their revenue dip when events were canceled. Leadership blamed the fundraisers, claiming they weren’t making enough asks. The truth? Fundraisers were ready to approach donors, but without data or success stories to share, they hesitated—not because they feared rejection but because they knew they weren’t set up for success.
Breaking the Myth: Fundraisers Aren’t the Problem
If fundraisers aren’t reluctant, what’s really going on? The systemic issues within nonprofits often create environments that stifle fundraising potential. Here’s why blaming fundraisers is the wrong approach:
- It ignores organizational responsibility.
Leadership sets the tone for fundraising success. Without clear priorities, training, and support, fundraisers are left in the dark. - It discourages collaboration.
Fundraising isn’t a solo activity. It requires teamwork across departments, from marketing to program staff, to create compelling donor experiences. - It creates a negative feedback loop.
When fundraisers are unfairly blamed, morale drops, leading to high turnover—a common challenge in the sector.
The Philosophical Shift: Asking as Partnership, Not Pleading
The myth that fundraisers are reluctant to ask thrives on the assumption that asking is inherently uncomfortable. But what if we reframed it? Asking isn’t about begging for money; it’s about offering donors a chance to make an impact. Fundraising is an act of partnership, not a plea.
This mindset shift changes everything. Fundraisers aren’t salespeople—they’re connectors. They bridge the gap between donor aspirations and organizational needs. By reframing the ask as an opportunity for donors to fulfill their values, fundraisers can approach conversations with confidence and authenticity.
Moving from Myth to Mastery: Solutions for Success
To dismantle the myth and empower fundraisers, organizations must take intentional steps to address the real barriers. Here’s how:
Strengthen the Foundation
- Create Clear Messaging: Align the organization’s mission with donor priorities. Fundraisers need stories that resonate and data that proves impact.
- Invest in Training: Equip fundraisers with skills in storytelling, negotiation, and donor stewardship. A well-trained team is a confident team.
- Define Goals: Clarify what success looks like—both short-term and long-term—so fundraisers have a clear path forward.
Build a Supportive Culture
- Engage Leadership: Leadership involvement in fundraising sends a powerful message. When executives model donor engagement, it elevates the importance of fundraising across the organization.
- Celebrate Wins: Recognize fundraising milestones, no matter how small. A culture of celebration fosters confidence and motivation.
- Encourage Collaboration: Fundraising doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Program staff, marketing teams, and leadership all play roles in creating a seamless donor experience.
Focus on Relationship Building
Fundraising success isn’t about the size of the ask—it’s about the strength of the relationship. Prioritize donor stewardship with regular updates, personalized touchpoints, and opportunities for deeper engagement. When donors feel valued, the ask becomes a natural next step.
Case Study: The Power of Preparation
A mid-sized environmental nonprofit struggled to hit its annual goals. Leadership chalked it up to fundraiser hesitation, but the truth lay elsewhere. Fundraisers lacked updated program data and compelling impact stories. After investing in data collection, storytelling workshops, and leadership support, the team transformed their approach. Fundraisers began making confident asks, leading to a 35% increase in donor retention and a 20% rise in new gifts.
Let’s Stop Perpetuating the Myth
The idea that fundraisers are reluctant to ask is outdated and harmful. It places unnecessary blame on passionate professionals while ignoring the systemic issues that hold them back. To move forward, nonprofits must shift their focus from assigning blame to building solutions.
Empowered fundraisers aren’t hesitant—they’re unstoppable. When equipped with the right tools, training, and support, fundraisers can approach every conversation with confidence, knowing they’re not just asking for money but offering donors the chance to make meaningful change.
Partner with Experts to Elevate Your Fundraising
For nonprofits seeking to empower their fundraisers, Nonprofit Freelancers offers a network of skilled professionals who specialize in fundraising strategy, donor engagement, and organizational culture. Visit NonprofitFreelancers.com to connect with experts who can help your team thrive.